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A CurtainUp London London Review
Altar Boyz


"Jesus called me on my cell phone - no charges were incurred." — Matthew
Altar Boyz
Jamie-Ray Hartshorne as Luke, Faisal Khodabukus as Juan, Liam Doyle as Matthew and Jonny Fines as Mark (Photo: Claire Bilyard)
Altar Boyz is a show that screams out for an adoring teenage audience of girls to appreciate this high energy pop concert of attractive, dancing young men. That would be fine if that were all but the storyline is framed in a bizarre Catholic ex-choir boy context which I found, well, frankly weird! I couldn't help thinking about those young boys who have been abused in the name of the church now avenging themselves on the older members of society.

The show predates The Book of Mormon but both being about religious belief is where the similarity stops. I suppose the Mormons have more extreme life styles and beliefs on which to base the parody.

At one point Mark (Jonny Fines) tells us about his being beaten up by a group of Episcopalians maybe on his way to, or back from, church or school. What the Altar Boyz management may not realize is that Episcopalian is the name the Church of England or Anglican Church gives itself when not in England. This show is now in the homeland of the Anglican Church. It might have gone down better in southern Ireland!

While the plot has as many holes in it as a lacy cassock cover, the songs seemed pleasant enough but it was the lyrics which mystified me and the highly energetic choreography with arms outstretched on the cross symbolism or the genuflecting and hands together in prayer. Is this religious spoof or just silly? I admit that I found it the opposite of all that might be sincere about religion and its irreligiosity in bad taste. The soul meter of audience members needing saving started with a much larger number than those in the theatre that night.

The references of two of the group are to New York gang culture, Juan (Faisal Khodabukus) complete with Hispanic headband and Luke (Jamie-Ray Hartshorne) dripping golden bling and flexing muscled arms. Abraham (Alex Jordan-Mills) is meant to be Jewish but is recruited to the group for his brilliant lyric writing. The pair I liked most, Matthew (Liam Doyle) and Mark, the choreographer, who seemed to have a genuine friendship.

It does seem a shame to see so much singing and dance talent spent on this show. Sorry guys I've never warmed to the motor cycling, guitar playing, leather clad vicars and this show confirms the atheist case for me!

Editor's Note: Altar Boyz was one of the still new New York Music Festival's first shows to get a regular off-Broadway run. That was in 2005. While our critic liked it, I was pretty much on the same page as Lizzie when I saw it. e.s.

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Altar Boyz
Book Music and Lyrics by Ken Del Aguila, Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker
Conceived by Marc Kessler and Ken Davenport
Directed by Steven Dexter

With: Liam Doyle, Jonny Fines, Jamie-Ray Hartshorne, Alex Jordan-Mills, Faisal Khodabuku
Lighting: James Smith
Choreographer: Ewan Jones
Musical Director: Mark Crossland
Set and Costume Design: David Shields
Sound Design: Harry Butcher and Jamie Mangan
Running time: One hour 30 minutes without an interval
Box Office: 020 8858 7755
Booking to 18th October 2014
Reviewed by Lizzie Loveridge based on 9th October 2014 performance at Greenwich Theatre, Crooms Hill, Greenwich, London SE10 (Rail/DLR: Cutty Sark, Greenwich)
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©Copyright 2014, Elyse Sommer.
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